Standing Outside one's 'I-ness'

The word ecstatic in its original sense means to stand outside of oneself. We work so hard to make a personal self, an “I” or ego, with clarity and continuity. This is extremely valuable, but one pays a price for this “I” -- we become small, personal and limited; we are a highly circumscribed entity in our “I-ness.”

The ecstatic experience involves escaping from the “I-ness.” This requires that we break the boundaries of our separateness to experience a greater realm, a realm that taxes our finest poets and artists to convey. It is the most valuable experience any person can ever have. The beauty of the Golden World is that one sees a vastness, something so much greater than oneself that one is left speechless with awe, admiration, delight and rapture.

Once we have built a strong ego, we must then link it back to the matrix from which it has grown. But to say, “I want an experience of God is a total oxymoron; if there is an “I” seeking an experience, that is precisely the problem and the reason for the suffering in one’s life. There’s a Christian proverb that says he who searches for God insults God; this is because a search implies that God is separate.

Zen Buddhism also is very articulate about this, stating that the very motivation for satori or enlightenment is suspect. You find the Kingdom, not by seeking, but only by grace. Seeking after the splendor of God is a highly egocentric and insulating thing to do. I now understand that the most profound religious life is found by being in the world yet in each moment doing our best to align ourselves with the slender threads.

The path to wholeness is not about becoming cured or enlightened so much as managing different experiences and responding with resilience and creativity to life’s ongoing changes. As you tune in to its different aspects, life in all its manifestations becomes more interesting.